Creative writing as a hobby can be miserable. 

Yes, you heard that right. I’m an aspiring author who thinks writing sometimes stinks like a big deuce. Shocking, I know, but hear me out. Allow me to share the top five reasons writing as a hobby is the stoopidist thing a sane person could choose for “fun.”

Top 5 reasons writing stinks a big deuce:

1) Your eyes bulge out of your head. If you’re like me – and many fellow corporate zombies in the United States – your day job consists of working at a computer. All day. Every day. Answering emails and video calls and filtering spreadsheets until the pixels burn your retinas and your permanent posture rivals a slumped gremlin.

You know what else you do at a computer? Write novels. Write blogs. Create images and videos for social media posts. Draft advertisements. Basically, every byproduct of wanting to be a writer is done with technology. As a full-time corporate zombie, part-time author, there are days I would rather stick a fork in my eye than look at another screen.

2) Your brain is a liar. I’m sure you’ve seen those memes where they scramble the letters and claim you’re special if you can decipher the text. Example: If Yuo’re Albe to Raed Tihs, You Might B3…a SuperHERo!! Well, I’m here to tell you, you’re not special. Our brains are liars. They try to be helpful and speedy, but in reality our ability to “fix” words make us miss errors. The result is every time you proofread your work, you will skip a typo. I’ve done this many times. I’ve had editors that missed typos. We all do it, it’s inevitable. Thanks a lot, brain. It’s incredibly frustrating when you spend months on a manuscript and editing only to find an error in the finished product.

3) More than half your time is spent on editing. The best part about writing is the blank page. You dream big. Envision loveable and maddening characters. Create dastardly plots. Figure out how to work an inside joke with a real-life friend into chapter seven. Plotting and creating and writing a novel is the best. And then you must edit. And edit. And edit. And when you think you’re done, you send the manuscript to an editor whose entire job is to tell you that you must edit more and shows you how your current edits are insufficient.

Think about that a moment. You willingly pay large sums of money so a colleague can point out your deficiencies and give you more work. It makes no flipping sense, and yet…we love our editors. Truly, editors, you’re the best, all jokes aside.

4) A finished product takes forever! Given that I’m new to this writing biz and don’t exactly have my artform down to a science, I am not a fast writer. I enjoy the creative process, take my time, and want to feel confident before releasing a fledgling novel into the wild. I would be lying if I claimed I wasn’t jealous of other hobbyists. I see an artist killing it with her upcycled statues, creating a stellar piece each month. My dance friends perform at multiple venues a year. Jewelry makers, sports players, hunters, fishers, painters, sculptors, bakers, musicians do cool things all the time and have something to show for it.
This is not to say these hobbies are simple or easy. Any artform or hobby taken seriously is challenging and fulfilling in its own right. All I’m saying is the time scale to completion is different. Other hobbyists show off amazing accomplishments on the regular. If you choose writing, this is how the conversation goes…

• Friend: How’s the writing going?
• Author: Good. I drafted two chapters of a 45-chapter novel last weekend.
• F: Awesome, can I read them?
• A: It’s chapter 6 and 35…it won’t make sense out of context.
• F: Did you post about it online?
• A: Nah. How many times can one post, “novel’s coming along…”
• F: I suppose. Well, I’m excited to read it when it’s done.
• A: Thanks. Call you in 2 years.

5) You will have no social life. Or said differently, I hope you like quiet alone time. This is the same for many creative pursuits, though still worth calling out. Writing is largely a solitary hobby. You spend a lot of time alone in a room, cranking out words. When you’re not writing, you’re in your head thinking about writing. Doesn’t matter if you’re grocery shopping, on a coffee break, walking your dog, or watching a movie…your novel is always in your head.

When you’re in the groove it can look to an outsider like an obsession. You don’t want to talk to anyone. Don’t want a break. Forget to eat. You simply must get your ideas onto paper before they disappear into the quantum gap for someone else’s creative energy to snatch up. This type of flow is awesome. And isolating. If you are a generally extroverted person, a writing habit might bother you. Introverts – power up. Quiet, pensive arts can be your friend.

There you have it. My top 5 reasons why writing is the worst. If these reasons make you cringe, find something else fun to do. If you’re like, I don’t understand the problem…doesn’t sound so bad, check out my counter article: Top 5 Reasons You Need Writing in Your Life.